What is happiness? We could ask hundreds of people and everyone would probably give different answers. One would say that happiness is to be loved or to love someone. For some people happiness could be money, while for others- to be popular. In 2019, 1 in every 8 people, or 970 million people around the world were living with a mental disorder, with anxiety and depressive disorders the most common. Having depression could be feeling scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting to have friends but hate socializing. It’s feeling everything at once, then feeling paralyzing numb. Mental health not only affects our overall health and well being, but also our ability to cope with everyday life. More than half of the people with mental illnesses do not receive help for their disorders. The stigma surrounding this issue often prevents people from seeking help.
Mostly depression and anxiety builds up over a long time of struggling. So you could be deeply suffering, and still get by, doing everything you’re supposed to do. When others perceive you as successfully managing life, it can create a barrier that makes it difficult to share your feelings with anyone because of the fear of not being believed. It is so important to remember that others’ perceptions do not define your reality. Only you truly understand your feelings and that makes them just as valid, regardless of how others see you.
Depression kind of collapses time, suddenly you find your whole days blending together, to create one endless loop. Eventually you lose touch with who yourself and all you can think about is how life has always been this way, even though that may not be the case. Anxiety is probably one of the most lonely, most isolating things to have because you are your own worst enemy. You live inside your head. The key to happiness is that you have to own your happiness. Be responsible for those things that bring joy into your heart, individually from people. You do not need tons of friends. At the end of the day you only have yourself, so stop thinking that you always have to be with somebody else to feel loved. Sometimes the universe forces us to be alone so that we can learn how to love ourselves. Don’t be afraid of losing others, be afraid of losing yourself. The more you try to control something, the more it ends up controlling you.
I believe that you need to experience sadness to experience happiness. We can only miss things we know. I saw a video of a woman talking about how her daughter dealt with depression and drinking. So this is what she told her daughter. “Draw a line on a piece of paper and think of a time when you felt happier than you feel right now. On one side of the line write down all the things you were doing back when you were happier. What did your day to day life look like? Now on the other side, write down your life now and compare.” Maybe you used to leave the house at 7am, be at school with your friends, go to practice and workout several times a week. While now you never leave the house and don’t workout.
Happiness could be simple. It’s could be about simplicity and peace. Instead of overthinking to understand something or someone, let time unfold the truth. Many of us tend to delay our own happiness by saying that we’ll be happy when we get to that step or that level. When things go wrong, take a deep breath and say “can’t change it”. Cause you simply can’t change what already happened, so there is absolutely no value in wishing it was different. You could live your best life as long as you avoid the unhappy and unlucky. Don’t let others bring you down for their misery. Suffering is an undeniably part of life. It’s up to you what you do with your life. Happiness is a state of mind.
A study on the top 5 things people said they regretted the most before they died: Made by a nurse at a retirement home.
- I wish I had let myself be happier
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. (people get so caught up in their own hectic lives that they let go of the golden friendships.)
- I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
- I wish I had not worked so hard (They lost time with their loved ones)
- I wish I had the courage to live a true life to myself, not what others expected from me
Let this be your gentle reminder to stop being so hard on yourself. Accept you and your emotions. It is okay to have a breaking point. There is no shame in how you are feeling, and you do not always have to justify it. You are allowed to be unproductive and refuse to understand things that are draining you. I hope you find peace within yourself and everything that keeps you alive. If you need to start over, you can. We have to understand the importance of mental health in today’s society.